Tuesday, 27 October 2015

The Private Member's Club Effect. A bit like the Waitrose effect....only cooler.

As 150,000 well-heeled festival-goers descended on Worthy Farm earlier this year, a few miles down the road a far smaller group of even better-heeled punters were turning into the long drive up to Babington House.

This luxurious Somerset outpost of the Soho House Group is a rather quieter but no less vital contributor to life in this corner of the county.

Indeed, this private members club, hotel and spa has arguably done much more for the local economy than the Glastonbury Festival.

When the first media-types made the long hike from Notting Hill to the newly opened Babington a decade or two ago, the surrounding area was still 'undiscovered' by weekenders and, in property terms, an under-valued gem.

Small villages such as Mells, Batcombe, Pitcombe, Witham Friary and Brewham, as well as towns like Bruton and Frome, were in decline. Agricultural jobs were disappearing. Local industries such as printing were closing. Even the many Mendip quarries weren't exactly booming. And the once bustling industrial hub of Shepton Mallett was turning into a ghost town.

Soon, however, a steady stream of Babington converts wearing brand new Hunter wellies were knocking on the doors of local estate agents. All of them looking to buy something 'authentic'. Something to do up, somewhere to splash the Farrow & Ball (as well as the cash).

Even now, years later, estate agent details for a certain type of property will include not just the distances to a local pub, station, village store and school...but how many miles it is to Babington!

And no, they never tell you how far the house is from Mr Eavis's farm.

Ironically perhaps, some of these incomers haven't even kept up their Babington membership since buying a weekend place or moving here full time.

They no longer need its protective, familiar, metropolitan environment. They've created their own. And it's centred on Bruton. A small town previously best known for its boarding schools and an Elizabethan auditor called Sexey (!), but now lauded by the likes of Vogue magazine as the place to be.

The most recent addition to Bruton's growing fashion credentials is the Hauser & Wirth gallery - created by the couple recently voted the most powerful people in the art world! It's a sort of mini Saatchi Gallery based in a lovingly converted old farm, with a garden designed by the creator of New York's High-Line.

On any Friday or Saturday night you'll find the gallery's Roth Bar six deep with youthful 4x4 driving weekenders. Look more closely and their number will include a smattering of minor celebrities, fashion designers, architects, impresarios, actors, film & TV directors and the occasional school parent slumming it before picking up little Toby from school.

It's quite unlike any other 'scene' you're likely to come across this deep into rural England. In the courtyard a seriously good DJ operates from a converted horsebox. There's an outdoor mojito bar that looks like a village fete stall. And the diners packing out the restaurant wouldn't look out of place at Club 55 in St Tropez (although their wardrobe might look a little different on the beach).

In reverse, it would be as if a bunch of young farmers, all with broad Somerset accents, had taken over the Electric on Portobello Road. Permanently.

Glasto has almost certainly had some long term impact on the local economy. In the town of Glastonbury itself you can get kitted out like an old hippie, learn how to get in touch with your spiritual side or buy a whole library of books on ley lines. But it's only since the arrival of the Soho House outpost that the area really took off.

House prices have risen steeply. Brilliant little hotel/restaurants like The Talbot Inn in Mells have opened up. Frome has created one of the most innovative independent retailer streets and monthly markets in Britain. The building trades have never been so busy. Online businesses are popping up everywhere. And there's a real sense of creative reinvention across this whole part of north east Somerset.

An expensive private members club can't, of course, take the credit for all of this. But it can maybe take more than Mr Eavis's rather middle-aged mega-rave down the road.

Indeed, perhaps the opening of a place like Babington is now as clear a sign of rural revival as the opening of a Waitrose is of urban gentrification.














Tuesday, 20 October 2015

I wish I'd snapped up an old photography studio.

This week the property that once housed the studio of photographer Terence Donovan went on sale for an eye-watering £18m.

It's had a bit of a makeover, of course, and been much expanded. More than a bit if I'm honest, as it was 'done' by the never knowingly restrained Candy & Candy.

In fact, it's hard to believe it's the same place I spent several days in while making a commercial with the celebrated snapper.

His studio, which is round the back of Claridges, was just one of the many wonderful spaces I was lucky enough to visit while working with some of London's top photographers back in the 90s.

There was Lichfield over in Notting Hill, Snowden in Kensington, Bailey up in Primrose Hill and others only slightly less famous with amazing spaces in Chelsea, Belgravia, Soho, Holborn and Battersea. I particularly remember the purpose built artist's studio of Tessa Traeger on Flood Street in Chelsea.

Today, the combined value of these studios, tarted up, must run to well over £100m.

Although I understand why Donovan's old studio has been given an "007" makeover, I can't help feeling nostalgic for the original look.

These wonderful light filled double height spaces were just begging to be turned into spacious, minimalist New York style lofts. White walls, bare bricks, stripped wood floors, simple kitchens, old French dining tables, huge and slightly distressed big comfy sofas, vast modern canvases to occasionally break up the white....that's all they needed to make them into 'creative' homes rather than creative workplaces.

Sadly, for me at least, the market doesn't seem to agree.

So there are acres of Carrara marble, lavish underground pools that will hardly ever be used, vast wine showcases, pile upon pile of shiny bed cushions, etc etc.

I'm sure it's beautiful in its way. And certainly of very, very high quality.

But even if I had £18m to spare (plus The Osbourne Tax), I wouldn't be rushing to put in an offer.

I'd be focussing on finding an original, and snapping that up.

(OK, that's enough of the rubbish puns.)






Monday, 5 October 2015

Neighbours? What neighbours?

In the past I might have been apt to dispute the idea that neighbourliness in London was a thing of the past, but the stark reality of our capital's unfriendliness has been brought home to me by our experience in the country.

A year ago we bought a weekend cottage in a Somerset hamlet. It's on a very narrow lane some way off the village main street. It's detached. There are neighbours. But they aren't exactly next door, if you know what I mean.

Yet since arriving we have been greeted with such hospitality, such friendliness, such a good-hearted welcome that it feels as if one has travelled back in time rather than just a couple of hours out of London.

By contrast, our little four house terrace in Kensington feels glacial in its indifference.

One resident can be excused. She and we tried at first to connect. But when this still stoic elderly lady forgot our names 5 times as we helped her back the 10 yards to her front door, we realised that it was going to be tricky.

The next house along is owned by perhaps the least friendly.  They are very English, they are not much older than us, they are clearly middle-class, and if they lived on our lane in Somerset I'm pretty sure we would at least have had a neighbourly conversation with them.

In London, however, they have never really had a civil word to say to us since our arrival.

I can remember only two occasions when they have spoken to me. And one of those was only because they were forced to.

Most recently, we had accepted (in a neighbourly way) a parcel that someone was trying unsuccessfully to deliver to them. When they popped round to collect it that evening, I sort of expected a smile, a gracious thank you and perhaps even a few words of conversation.

But no. Even the thank you was rather grudging. How weird.

Perhaps they're just shy. Or think we look like the kind of people they don't like.

Personally, I think they are just bloody rude. Or unwell.

The last house is occupied by a slightly younger couple. But we both have dogs so you'd have thought that would provide enough common ground. But no, the nearest they've come to friendliness is when they stopped to rather gleefully inform me that another house on the terrace was going on the market and would compete with my own.

That was it. Well, thanks a bunch.

Not without some cause, my wife often says that I'm an unfriendly old git. So perhaps I come across as badly as our neighbours.

Maybe there's just something about cities that changes our characters, makes us more insular, more self-contained.

Whatever the reason, it's rather sad.



Thursday, 17 September 2015

They call them Offers, I call them Pointless.

The next time I go to my local butcher for a couple of steaks, here's what I'm going to do.

When he's cut, weighed and priced them, I'm going to make him an offer.

If he's asking £10 for the steak, here's what I'm going to say:

"Look I know these are two wonderful steaks, probably dry-aged for 35 days and from a farm where you know each animal by its first name, but frankly they're not worth £10 to me. I'll give you £7."

When he looks ready to faint with shock, and repeats the price of £10, I'll offer him £8.

And when he says no again, I'll walk out and see if I can get a better price at Waitrose, even though I know the meat will not be as good.

That's what it's like selling my house.

We've had several offers lately, but they've been from people who seem more determined to get a big discount than a house they appear to like.

Our asking price has already come down significantly and yet there's a perception that the market's so bad between £2m-£3m you can offer almost anything.

Well, you can try.

Like I could at the butcher's.


Wednesday, 8 July 2015

From Mr Nasty to Mr Nice: How to solve a problem like OTM.

Yesterday I complained about the new, agent backed property portal, OnTheMarket.com. Especially the way in which it has forced sellers to use an ineffectual (so far) marketing tool.

It's easy to knock something (and I should know as it's sort of my stock-in-trade).

So, for a change, I thought I'd put on my other hat. The constructive, hopefully creative one.

My problem with OTM, you see, is that it's really just a copycat site that will only survive and possibly prosper because it has what some might consider unfair leverage within the agent world.

It has nothing new to offer. Does nothing better than its competitors. And adds nothing to the mix.

So, if I'm to be Mr Nice for a change, what could they have done that would have really been exciting?

Well, first they needed a differentiator. Something that would separate the site and its service from the competition.

I think that what the market really needs is a good 'Prime Only' portal covering £1m+ properties. Nobody needs another all-encompassing list of every bloody property in Britain.

£1m is a natural dividing line in the market and buyers and sellers would be attracted to something that focussed on their end of the market. In London maybe the value should be set even higher - but that's a detail.

The name needs to be either a) a brilliant, youthful web brand like UBER or AIRBNB. Maybe something like LATERAL or WOW...or  b) a qualitative expression of the service like PRIMERESI (yes, I know that's taken).

The marketing needs to be original, compelling and very different. Take a look at how the National Lottery are using Piers Morgan to see what I mean. Clever, relevant, humourous, distinctive. (Everything the OTM campaign isn't.)

The website itself needs to tear up the established blue-print adopted by Rightmove and Zoopla and move into the current decade.

Lists are fundamentally boring. But a good designer could rethink the presentation of properties. The site needs to look more like AirBnB and less like a page on eBay. More like the Domus Nova website in looks (if you want an agency comparison). And written more like Crayson's.

People love property. But show me a portal that even remotely reflects that fact.

Why not divide properties more creatively into categories such as MegaPrime, Wrecks&Refurbs, LandedGentry, LockUp&Leave, Downsizers etc etc. Wouldn't searching be more fun, more relevant to the consumer.

Of course you would retain the more conventional search methods as well. But clever market segmentation is the future of the web. Curation, not saturation.

As well as lists of property, what the site really needs is unique content. Yes, like many others, I hate the word 'content'. But we all have to move with the times. Even the estate agency world.

What I'd like to see is sections on the site that add real value - like an interior design directory, architect & builder reviews, well written insights into different locations, even reviews of schools, restaurants, etc etc.

There's so much a site like this could contribute to making us want to return time and time again - yet nobody seems to do much more than pay lip-service to these areas. If I see another portal blog about PipofftheTelly, I'll throw myself off the nearest dreadful St George development.

Oooops. That's not very Mr Nice, is it?

Sorry. Can't help it.







Tuesday, 7 July 2015

On The Market but Off The Radar?

The following blog could be the rantings of a bitter old man who has failed to sell his house. Or it could be the considered view of an independent voice not afraid to critique a major initiative from the country's top estate agents.

You can decide.

If you're an estate agent, you'll be very familiar with the new portal OnTheMarket.com.

For us buyers and sellers, however, the arrival of this new online property search engine has been rather less enthralling.

The fact is most of us don't even know it exists. Or if we have vaguely heard of it...we probably haven't used it.

As a seller, however, I've been forced to list my property on OTM because both my agents opted to ditch Zoopla/Primelocation and go with this new portal and Rightmove (the clear market leader).

It's a condition of using OTM that agents use only two of the main portals.

Yes, I know this is all getting a bit complicated, not to say boring. But stick with me for a few more paragraphs. I can't promise it will become any less confusing, but it is important stuff (I think).

OTM was the idea of a few top agents. And I give them enormous credit for getting it off the ground.

They do actually have some 'previous' in this sphere as many of the same agents actually got together in 2001 to launch the portal called Primelocation.

This was eventually sold (for £48m) and is now part of the Daily Mail's digital stable which includes Zoopla.

Now I don't want to question the motives of those agents behind the new portal, but the fact that they got a mere £48m for Primelocation when Rightmove is now worth north of £3bn may have had some bearing on the decision to start another one.

The founders however claim that they disagreed with the way Zoopla was exploiting data derived from their listings, and also that third party advertising on Rightmove and Zoopla is an irritant for us punters.

Anyway, that's the basic background. Now, what's my issue with all this.

Well, quite simply, I don't want my property on OTM but if I want to use the best agents for my property I don't have a choice.

The reason I don't want my property on OTM is because it simply doesn't work at the moment.

The name is terrible, the consumer marketing is wallpaper and the site itself nothing special (and I'm being generous here).

More importantly, perhaps, it's way off the pace when it comes to Google searches.

I won't bore you, at this point, with the tedious details of how poorly it performs on Google. Trust me, it's crap.

Maybe it's good if you're looking to buy a semi in Hemel Hempstead or a terraced house in Burnley (although somehow I doubt it). But when it comes to selling a little house in Kensington, it is definitely useless.

I would far prefer to be on Primelocation. This is a decent website, the brand has a qualitative edge to it and, even more importantly, my target audience know it and use it.

Now at this point someone will probably bang off a tweet full of stats showing that OTM really is working and that Primelocation is nothing more than a small and quietly dying brand.

Maybe they're right.

But, having worked in digital since its earliest days, I know just how opaque web stats can be.

The fact is IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND MY PROPERTY ON OTM VIA A GOOGLE SEARCH.

Type in London W8 or Abingdon Rd W8 and it will be Rightmove or Primelocation or Zoopla that occupy the top spots on Google....followed by a bunch of agents such as Savills, John D Wood etc.

OTM doesn't come anywhere close to the first page on Google (except when it runs an ad!).

Now, although I don't think the fact that we're not on Primelocation/Zoopla makes much difference to whether or not we'll sell our property, I do think the principle of allowing agents to use only two portals is wrong.

It's surely against the spirit of competition law even if not the letter of the law (I'm sure they had very good advice).

If OTM is any good, it will find a ready market. But it should find a market by being better, not by forcing agents to cut out a competitor.

Right now, though, it isn't better. And in any normal market it would be struggling to stay in business.

Generally speaking, I like the top end London agents I've met. They're bright, hard-working and thoroughly professional.

It's a pity the portal they have to use isn't as good as they are.















Tuesday, 2 June 2015

Show homes designed for extreme stereotypes, not people.

I've recently had the opportunity to view a number of so-called show homes; where developers furnish new properties to give potential buyers an idea of how they might look when occupied.

Some of them are finished to such an extent there are even designer clothes hanging in the wardrobes, and food and wine in the fridges.

Given that most of us have limited imaginations, it's not a bad idea. Empty 'shell' homes are deeply uninteresting, and rarely have the emotional pull of an occupied house where you can see how living in it might work - even if you want to change it dramatically.

The most interesting thing about the homes I viewed, however, was the way in which they'd clearly been designed with a particular buyer in mind.

When I say "a particular buyer" what I actually mean, of course, is a particular race or nationality.

Whether it's palatial £15m sea view homes in Asia or one bedroom starter flats in Fulham, interior designers seem to see potential buyers as rather predictable stereotypes.

I wondered how this idea might be taken to its logical, if somewhat perverse, conclusion:

American buyers, for example, might appreciate it if you built in not just one gun cupboard but three - and labelled them for Handguns, Hunting Rifles and, of course, Assault Weapons? You should also, of course, install extra large beds to match the extra obese buyers.

Then there's the Eastern European buyer who might need, at any moment, a handy built-in cash counting machine, like those found in banks.

Or the Italian buyer (a man, of course) who might be swayed by finding a collection of V-neck cashmere jumpers in every available colour already folded neatly and ready to wear.

Sticking to the less sensitive racial/national targets, how about doing away with the interior kitchen for any Aussie buyers and simply installing a vast BBQ and accompanying ice machine in the garden. (What more could they want, to feel at home?)

The French are easy. Just ensure that nothing in the property is made in England, and that all instruction books are printed only in their language.

For Swedes, simply furnish with some half-assembled Ikea stuff....and scatter a few loose screws around the place. They'll appreciate the challenge.

The Greeks might like a specific built-in cupboard full of cheap white plates for smashing purposes.

For a German buyer, don't bother equipping the property with anything. They will undoubtedly know better than you what should go in it.

Finally, then, what about that rare beast the English buyer?

I suggest some ragged old sofas and a couple of mismatched lamps bought at a car boot sale; they'll think that's terribly posh.